Gravy

Inside A Writer's Head…
By
Heide AW Kaminski

"Creative Department" the sign on the door said.
Mr. Neutron looked through the glass. There was quite a light show going on inside. Flashes were shooting left and right, bouncing off corners, some literally going in circles.
Mr. Neutron stepped inside without knocking first.
"How's it firing today, Ms. Muse?" he inquired.
She glared at him. "Don't you walk in here with those cutting-edge eyes!" she growled. "I am on a roll. And you are not cutting a single word, I tell ya!"
There was a soft knock on the door.
A bashful Word stepped inside.
"You called, Ms. Muse?" he asked.
She looked him up and down with scrutinizing eyes.
"The Thesaurus Agency sent you?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"This is all they can come up with? That is pathetic! Go away! You're no good!"
With his head hanging down, Word left the room.
Ms. Muse pushed a button on her intercom.
"Hey Feet!" she demanded. "Move that body over to the shelf in the south corner. There's the newest edition of the Thesaurus on there. Eyes, Hands! Co-ordinate this transaction!"
"Ahem… we are kind of busy," came the vague reply.
"What do you mean, busy???" Ms. Muse yelled. "I got top priority! What ever it is you're doing, drop it pronto! Follow my orders."
"I do not think that is possible," Common Sense's voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Left Foot is bored, but Right Foot is on the pedal, Left Hand is on the stirring wheel and Right Hand is scribbling on a notepad. Eye Balls are going nuts, because they are rolling back and forth like maniacs between the windshield and the notepad."
"Oh…" Muse bit her lips and actually remained quiet for a moment.
Neutron snorted some giggles. "I see my presence here is not really warranted at the moment. I'll come back later."
"I hope your scissors go dull!" Ms. Muse yelled.
Neutron made a nosedive to the door as she threw a paperweight at him. "Rock beats scissors!" she chanted.
"OK, fine," she returned to the intercom. "Pull over then, this is an emergency. And by the way, why don't we have a tape recorder for this?"
"The batteries are dead," said Short Term memory from the back room."
"Ever heard of spare batteries???" Ms. Muse was getting very aggravated.
"Well, we bought spares last summer…" Long Term perked up. "I guess they can't be laying around for that long."
Ms. Muse shook with impatience and disgust. These imbeciles, she had to put up with day in, day out!
"Pull over!!!!!" she demanded again.
"No can do, Ms. Muse!" said Short term firmly. "We are on our way to a meeting with Deadline. And you know how they hate to wait!"
Ms. Muse shuddered. Next to that slasher Neutron, Deadline was her worst antagonist.
She felt a headache coming on.
It was always the same… Deadline put pressures on her like a medieval headlock gear and that editor Neutron butchered all of her hard work.
"We're almost there!" Eye Balls chimed over the intercom. "Looks like we might be five minutes early. You can have a little bit of our time."
Ms. Muse sighed. Five minutes… Well, better than nothing.
In his office, Neutron put his legs on his desk and folded his hands behind his head.
"I better take a little nap," he said to himself. "When Muse gets done, I will have a lot of work ahead of me."
He picked up his scissors and lovingly ran them across his sharpener a few times…

Bio

my website is at
http://www.imaginationsoars.com
you can also read articles of mine at
http://www.interfaithspirit.org/newsletter/articles.htm
and now visit my newest "baby":
http://www.topica.com/lists/SarcasticWomen